article

How to Let Go of Unwanted Things You've Inherited

By Jennifer Ott, Houzz via Realty Times

bluehammer
Photo by Sarah Greenman

Whether you've inherited a large collection of items or a single bulky piece of furniture, it's OK to let it go if you don't need or want it.

A dear friend of mine recently inherited a large collection of books. And by large, I mean over 1,000, many of them the bulky hardcover variety. He was, of course, touched by the gift - from a longtime mentor and fellow avid reader - but feels overwhelmed by the sheer size of the collection because he's downsizing his own home. When anyone suggests that he perhaps cull the collection a bit, he feels guilty, as if that would dishonor the memory of his friend.

This reminded me of past clients who insisted that we work around a big, bulky piece of furniture they didn't especially like or use, but felt obligated to keep because it was a gift from a loved one.

My father-in-law is fond of pointing out that when a funeral procession goes by, you never see a moving truck or armored car full of cash as part of the procession. In other words, you can't take this stuff with you when you go. So I say that instead of putting emotional energy into things, why not redirect it and instead cherish our thoughts and memories of those we've lost?

Several years ago, I unexpectedly lost a favorite uncle and, soon after that, my grandmother, followed by my grandfather. I adored these three immensely and felt much grief upon losing them, especially within such a short span of time. What helped me most in dealing with the loss was to sift through old photos and find one that perfectly captured each of them and their fun personalities. I keep those framed photos on display in my home, and whenever I walk by and glimpse their images, I'm reminded of them and, no matter what my current mood, they make me smile.

Personally speaking, after I'm gone, I'd rather that my surviving family and friends keep a photo of me around to occasionally remember our good times together than feel saddled with my stuff.

I should point out that I'd never advocate getting rid of items that have sentimental or historical value to you or your family. By all means, keep the pieces you hold dear. But if you don't want the items and are looking to lighten your load, you have options for dealing with them.

bluehammer Photo by Shannon Malone – Look for living room design inspiration

1. Keep one or two (or a few).

If you, like my friend, are gifted a large collection of items, perhaps hang on to a small number and give away the rest. I encouraged my friend to keep the books that are most interesting to him, or that most remind him of his friend, and then donate the remainder. I think this honors the memory of his friend without creating a burden for my friend.

If the inherited item is something like a large dining room set, perhaps keep one chair as a reminder of the person you lost and then find a good home for the other pieces.

bluehammer Photo by Kimball Starr Interior Design – Search dining room pictures

2. Keep but modify it.

Let's say you're given a large dining room set that you could use in your own home, except that some pieces are in rough shape or the style doesn't quite work with your decor. Instead of tossing or donating the set, you may be able to restore or update it with some elbow grease and a new stain or paint job. Or perhaps all it needs is new upholstery. Don't be afraid to modify an item to make it work for you.

Of course, I wouldn't recommend doing this if the item is an antique or otherwise has value being kept in its original condition.

3. Donate it.

If you simply can't use or don't want the item, give it to someone who can use it and will appreciate it. That large and dated dining set may not work in your house, but I guarantee that there's a family out there who would love, use and cherish such a set. I think that's a pretty great way to honor the deceased. Rather than the item sitting unused and collecting dust in your storage unit - and you feeling guilt or resentment about it - someone who can't otherwise afford to purchase such an item gets to have and use it.

bluehammer Photo by Helping Hand Thrift Shop – More home bar ideas

4. Sell it.

I believe that if someone gives or leaves an item to you, it's yours to do with as you wish. If it's something you can't use or don't want to keep, and it has monetary value, go ahead and sell it. Before selling it to the highest bidder, though, you may want to see if a friend or family member of the deceased wants to buy or trade for it.

If it doesn't sit well with you to profit from the transaction, you can always donate the item - or the money you make selling it - to a cause championed by you or your loved one.

Your turn:

Do you think it's OK to get rid of inherited items? How have you handled this sensitive situation?

Want to estimate your home improvement costs before talking with a contractor? Claim your home for free with bluehammer to estimate costs, secure your home inventory and learn more about your home.

* THIS REPORT IS AN OPINION THAT MAY BE INACCURATE AND IS PROVIDED SOLELY AS AN INFORMATIONAL TOOL NOT DESIGNED TO PROVIDE DEFINITIVE ANSWERS. ALL ELEMENTS ARE OFFERED "AS IS" AND BLUEBOOK EXPRESSLY DISCLAIM ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, REPRESENTATIONS, AND GUARANTEES OF ANY NATURE, EXPRESS, IMPLIED OR OTHERWISE, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABLITILY, NONINFRINGEMENT, TITLE, QUIET ENJOYMENT, ACCURACY, OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. IN NO EVENT SHALL BLUEBOOK (OR THEIR SUPPLIERS) BE LIABLE FOR ANY GENERAL, DIRECT, SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, INDIRECT OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES OF ANY KIND, OR ANY DAMAGES WHATSOEVER (INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION, THOSE RESULTING FROM USE OF THE PRODUCT, INCLUDING : (1) RELIANCE ON THE MATERIALS PRESENTED, (2) COSTS OF REPLACEMENT GOODS, (3) LOSS OF USE, DATA OR PROFITS, (4) DELAYS OR BUSINESS INTERRUPTIONS, (5) AND ANY THEORY OF LIABILITY, ARISING OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE USE OR PERFORMANCE OF INFORMATION) WHETHER OR NOT BLUEBOOK HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.

Know what you should pay for your home improvement projects with bluehammer.Claim your home. It's free!

Popular


Is Your Furnace Affecting Your Indoor Air Quality?

The push to make our houses as energy-efficient as possible has, in some cases, led to unintended consequences. Because modern houses are less drafty due to tighter-fitting windows, doors and weather stripping, pollutants that were vented in the past are trapped inside. Most of the pollutants are relatively harmless, but some can be dangerous, and they all contribute to what some people call "sick house syndrome."

Do's And Don'ts For Painting Your Bathroom Cabinets

If your bathroom cabinets are old, ugly, tired, or all of the above, you've probably thought about painting them more than a few times. And if you're like us, you may have done a bit of research but failed to take it further for fear that they won't end up looking decent. But the truth is that if you follow the directions of those who've been there before (and, especially, if you heed their warnings regarding shortcuts and mistakes), you can transform your bathroom pretty easily. This list of do's and don'ts will help guide you.

Follow These Steps Before Starting Your Kitchen Remodel

If your kitchen is looking a bit dated, consider a remodel to upgrade its efficiency and looks. Here's a quick guide to planning your kitchen update:

Double up! Stylish Solutions For Shared Bedroom Spaces

Fitting multiple kids in a house can be challenging, and when they have to double - or tripl - up (or more!) in one room, style can take a hit.

Remodeling Your Outdoor Patio On A Budget

Creating and sticking to a home improvement project's budget is about as easy and comfortable as pulling teeth. But when it comes to a task as exciting as an outdoor space remodel, it's necessary to think and talk about the budget before taking any further steps.

Replacing Your Bathroom Vanity

Replacing your old vanity can make a big aesthetic difference in your bathroom.

Choosing Window Treatments: Pros and Cons

Deciding on the right size, color, fabric and pillow configuration for your couch took three weeks. You still haven't decided on the paint color for the bedroom, despite having seven different shades of blue in swatches up on the wall. It seems like every design decision you've made in your home was critical, but the one that will help pull it all together hasn't garnered a moment of thought.

Getting your home ready for that big party

Preparing for a party can be a hectic time - you have a full slate on your to do list, including choosing the menu, preparing food, planning activities, and coordinating decor. It can be easy to overlook one of the most important elements of planning an event, making sure your home is presentable for your guests. Our guide will help you to quickly get your house party-ready so you can focus on all the other things involved in preparing for your event.

New Kitchen Cabinetry: Make Your Investment A Smart One

At an average of $50,000, a kitchen remodel is a major undertaking. A good return on that investment means different things to different people. You may be considering resale value, your bank balance at the moment, the elements of your dream kitchen-or all of the above. Whatever the case, kitchen cabinets are a key component of every remodel.

Replacing Your Toilet

The work horse of the bathroom, the toilet is the most used appliance.

See More Articles